Porridge meets Hi-De-Hi


Turns out, then, that prisoners get treated like hotel guests in prison lock-ups. It costs £135 for the cops to pay for their stay in custody. What a surprise that is.
So, the policeyman says, they should be charged £200 for the expense of their stay in HM's pleasure.
Perhaps it would be a more pertinent idea to charge them a lot more money for their crimes, eh? It's not particularly just or socially healthy to charge someone because the police have detained them overnight. It might turn out in court that they're innocent. Would someone detained overnight still have to pay £200 for the prisonhotel stay with no minibar or jacuzzi if proven innocent in court? Doubt it... So it's not going to work on a charging policy like that, is it, dickheads?
Perhaps putting up the ridiculously meagre fees paid in £5 a fortnight installments by proven guilty, huge-knuckled brusiers with absolutely no respect for the courts would shock criminals into not breaking the law?
Perhaps.
But then, perhaps playing every episode of Hi-De-Hi over and over again in the cells would teach them a lesson and scare them off crime for life instead.
If you're in a position of authority and have an absolutely fucking ridiculous suggestion, please waste everyone's time by writing to someone in a position of even more authority than you demanding that it be taken seriously. Don't worry how daft it is, the media will still present it as a very straight news piece.